i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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