Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
