my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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