So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
