trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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