don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
