Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
