Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
