let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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