Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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