he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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