Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
