Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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