some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
