If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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