My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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