i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
