Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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