apparently the secret to your success is patron
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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