While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
