I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
