Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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