Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
