is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize