So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
