wanna go halves on a baby?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
