Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
