i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
high people should be assigned attendants
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
