im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
