I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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