so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
