im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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