i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
