So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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