that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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