just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
