I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Randomize
