I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
