What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
