; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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