Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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