im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
