i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
either way he was missing a nipple.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
