im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
