I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
