Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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