Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize