I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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