Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Alive.
So much puke
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
