And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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