I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
