Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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