i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
