No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize