Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
