I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
